Another Hurdle

Quote of the week: "Going to church is easy. All you have to do is eat and color." - Claire

There's nothing to it.

This week was up and down for us. As I mentioned last week, the 16th was Lily's birthday. I took the day off and we spent the day together. We had cake, sang Happy Birthday, and watched home videos in the evening. Claire still often misses Lily and Sam will ask, "Where's Lily?" Sam will usually ask that around dinner time where we now always have an empty chair.

We have learned so much from this experience. It is really hard that life continues on as we still struggle to adjust to our new life. In a recent conversation I was asked how we were doing. It was asked in a superficial way, so I gave the superficial "We're doing OK" answer. My interlocutor then responded with, "Yeah, now that some time has passed..." One thing that we have learned that is that nothing prepares you for these types of conversations. Unless it has happened to you, the feelings of sadness and pain are incomprehensible. For us, it is not easier now that "some time has passed."

If anything, Candace and I have often discussed that it is harder now. Since the sickness came so quickly, it is perfectly accurate to say we were in shock for the first few months. Now that the shock to our systems is finally starting to wear off, we are able to start the mourning process. It has been 5 1/2 months since Lily died. A terrible 5 1/2 months, and yet we continue to put one foot in front of the other. We cannot shut down. We have faith that we will see Lily again and so we don't stop living. The difficulty is in the fact that while we continue to live, and others see us living, there may be some confusion that us living means that we are OK.

This is not to say that we are not mostly OK, we are. We are back in a routine and that is good. When talking about Lily, though, our hearts have gaping holes. Our family is down 1. Those wounds have not yet begun to heal.

We so much appreciate the continued thoughts and prayers in our direction. We have needed them all and continue to need them all.

There's Nothing to See Here

While this was a week with a two-day local holiday, I'm not really motivated to put together a comprehensive post. We have been both excited and scared about BYU's NCAA prospects without Brandon Davies, and have been pleased at the positive press reporting about the Honor Code.

Claire is an example to the kids in primary by learning the practice songs in English and in Spanish. She gets right up in front and belts out the songs in both languages. The American kids don't even know the words in English, and the Argentine kids don't know the words in Spanish. So Claire is getting an inside track for American Idol season 19 tryouts.

Sam grew two new appendages this week in the form of a musical Nemo book, and an I SPY book. He won't go anywhere without them, and asks non-stop for Candace or me to accompany the music (nursery rhymes set to story lines within Finding Nemo). Sometimes we look at him and think he's so big and talking so well, and yet he'll be two for four more months. Sometimes I think that he'll eat the other kids in nursery for a snack.

Caroline is about to be trouble. She's full-on crawling now and its too big for her carseat. It's time to move her out to the next one, but that switch brings with it many terrible adjustments... the most terriblest being that then we have to start carrying her everywhere... and not having a place to put her at church.

As for Candace and I, it's been a rough patch. Lily's birthday is March 16th and this is the first one without her. There's nothing I can say to adequately relay our sadness.

Current Events

This was a fun weekend for us.

Every place we have lived, we have gotten into a groove of restaurants we like, and activities to do with the kids. We would become members of the closest zoo and children's museum, and knew where all the local parks were. Candace would have an activity planned every day which would also include trips to story time at the library. Here in South America, things are not as easy as they were, but we are discovering some great things.

Restaurants: Our first move was to Virginia where we were exposed to what we thought were nicer restaurants and options than the normal Utah County fare. We latched on to an Italian place called Maggiano's. While our income increased, we broadened our horizons away from Outback Steakhouse to places like Ruth's Chris and found that you really do get what you pay for. We decided that instead of paying $30 every couple of weeks for TGIF, we would go out less often and eat better food. Let me tell you, it made a huge difference in our date nights.

In Chicago, we had tons of wonderful options, both inside the city and out. While Sweet Tomatoes was a family regular, we were exposed to wonderful pizza (Giordanos) and upscale dining. In Denver, Sweet Tomatoes was still on the docket (and really really close to our house), but we didn't get out as much with the young kids.

We have gone out to mostly steak places here (for obvious reasons), but have recently experienced some good Thai food, a good Mexican Place, and this weekend, we had some EXCELLENT seafood (www.crizia.com.ar). We can always have good steak, and you don't have to go looking around for it, but finding great alternatives is always welcome.

ACTIVITIES: I think I have mentioned some of the problems with the public areas here (not well kept, doggy poopie, clientele), but we got together with a group of friends and went to an Estancia (Ranch) yesterday (www.rodiziocampo.com.ar). It had a great playground, pool, soccer field, ping pong, horses to ride, other animals, bikes, drinks, lunch included, etc etc. It was a great time. We are experiencing a four-day weekend due to a local holiday so we were trying to get out of the house. The place was about an hour from the city in the heard of my mission.

It's nice to find new fun things to do. Still making plans for some soccer games and theater. Week old pictures of the kids below.

On a more serious note, Candace and I would like to thank all those who continue to reach out and support us. Sometimes it's hard to talk openly about the loss of Lily, and while we strive to move forward and put on happy faces, the pain is still very much a part of our lives. We still need your thoughts and prayers.