Carilo: Where Dreams Come True

Yeah. It's Monday night. So what? I was out of town last night and couldn't post.

Last week had a lot of potential and it lived up to the hype. Besides the fact that several weeks ago Argentina announced a brand spanking new holiday, it was Thanksgiving week and we had plans to go to the beach with a friend. So instead of working Monday and half of Tuesday, I only worked half of Tuesday for the week, and it was great. We took off for Carilo, a beach destination about four hours south of Buenos Aires. The city is a few square miles, and all of the streets are sand. It has a wonderful beach and several activities that we enjoyed.

In order to fully understand the depth of the comments I made above about the beach vacation living up to the hype, you will need some background. I spent my young childhood in Utah where the only beach activities were some Boy Scout camps on Antelope Island in the Great Salt Lake. Um, we did not swim or collect sea shells. My early life beach memories come from summers spent on the east coast, which included an annual trip to the U.S. Army's famous (have you heard of it?) Fort Story, Virginia: Home of Army Amphibians. Before you go thinking that the U.S. Army has a fortress to guard frogs and salamanders, these are big metal transport vehicles. They rumble down the road into the Atlantic. Coming from an Army family, we had access to the camping grounds and the beach at the Fort.

Now I know you have visions of North Carolina's OBX (Outer Banks for you west coasters), well, the OBX it was not. My memories include hours upon hours at the beach as a young boy where nobody told me that sunscreen might be a good idea. So the second through the fifth day of each Fort Story visit was pretty miserable (not measerable!). Also, the private Ft. Story beach just meant that the Army could leave things there, and we're probably lucky there was no live ordnance there. I just remember swimming in ridiculously cold Atlantic waters, stepping on weird pokey things in the water, being stung by jelly fish, and overall having a terrible time. I'm sure I had fun, but I guess those memories are crowded out by those thoughts, and let's not forget that I'm afraid of sharks. So beaches never held much appeal for me.

But Carilo was different. The kids LOVED it. Upon arrival (after being stopped by Argentine Federal Police, not being able to produce documentation that the car had Argentine insurance, going through an increasingly frustrating conversation with a policeman who had never seen a car with diplomatic plates, explaining that the fact that the car was released from customs was proof that it had the requisite insurance before he let me go because he didn't know what to do), we checked in and headed to the beach because the only thing Claire wanted to do at the beach was look for real sea shells. After our quick walk at dusk (when the beach gets cold), we headed back towards the hotel and I found a seashell. Claire could not stop giggling. She said that it was the best day of her life, and I had made it happen. Score one for dads everywhere.

I should also mention that before being pulled over during the Police's routine checks, we passed some missionaries. After deciding we didn't have room to give them a ride, we passed on by. Then we both remembered the life of a missionary and we flipped a u-turn, hunted them down and gave them some Pop Tarts. I think they were happy. I would have been happy. Be good to missionaries when you see them.

During our trip, another wonderful thing happened. Candace, who has oft-mentioned she hasn't slept through the night for nearly 6 years, slept through the night... allergies and all. It was at amazing. She was so pleased.

On our second day, we drove 90 minutes up to Mundo Marino (Sea World, or better Argentina's version of Sea World). While not as expensive as its Orlando and San Diego counterparts, it was, um, not the same. There was a Shamu-like show, some sort of displays, and some kind of shows. You remember the Hertz commercials: "There's Hertz, and there's 'not exactly'". This was the 'not exactly'. It was, however, a lot cheaper, kept us out all day, and we had a good time with our travel companions. If you consider going while ever in Argentina, it's a nice place to stop and spend some time if it's on your way somewhere, but I will tell you right now, it's not on the way to anything.

The last full day we were there was another victory for dads everywhere. We found some horses, and the 7 year old girl in the family we travelled with talked and talked about riding horses. We found and rode the horses. During the trail ride, she said, "This is the best day of my life."

So in short, not a bad week for us parents. Two declarations of the best days of young girls' lives, a mother who sleeps through the night, several days out of the office, a great road trip getting know more of the foreign country we live in, getting out of any kind of weird traffic ticket from the Argentine authorities, and returning safely.

Hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving.

Bullet Bike

I am posting the below picture in response to a specific request. Can you tell that the tape job was done in haste, and in protest to the motorist who left us with the hanging chad of a side view mirror? Is there really a way to tape up something so ridiculous to make it look nice? I don't think so.

When we decided to order another mirror, we ordered a black-encased mirror instead of the silver-encased mirror. Besides the fact the silver one is more than twice as much, Candace and I unfortunately realized that if losing a mirror only took us a week after getting the car, who's to say it won't happen again in the next two and half years? [SHAKING MY HEAD IN A SAD REALIZATION OF THE TRUTH OF THAT STATEMENT] I could also tell you about the other minor scratch our car endured this morning (my fault), but I'll save myself the grief. It suffices to say that Candace's excellent advice to me is now, "If you're not sure you can make it, don't try." Why didn't I think of that?

Before I forget, this was the exchange I overheard this morning as Candace fixed Claire's hair for church:

CANDACE: Claire, what do you want in your hair?

CLAIRE: A barrette. (I had to look up how to spell it? Did you know?)

CANDACE: You don't want to get lice, do you?

CLAIRE: No.

CANDACE: How about a pony tail or pig tails?

CLAIRE: OK.

Not that it matters, but she ended up in pigtails. Can you guess what has been going around the schools around here? Guess it's not that uncommon. So far, we've avoided it (or do we say "them"?).

So we're getting all geared up for Thanksgiving around here, and how did we spend our weekend?

We thought it would be colder than it was, but with the sun out, our pool was fantastic. Claire loved it, Dave loved it, Sam loved it, Caroline loved it, and Candace loved it. Looks like we just found a great way to spend the Argentine school summer break (from the first week of December until February).

Another fun thing that Candace has really enjoyed is having our maid cook. She is from Peru and loves to cook. As she has turned out to be a pretty good cook, we have loved eating her food. If Candace was in charge of the blog, she could (and would) go on and on about how much she enjoys our maid. Does it sound like I'm rubbing it in a little? If so, good, cause it's awesome!!

What's not awesome here is the traffic. I know I have mentioned it in previous posts and I really don't plan to bring it up every week, but rather when there is something significant about the traffic to report. To begin, I looked up a few quotes on the traffic here in Buenos Aires to set the stage:

--From Wikipedia: "If you are truly adventurous (and have a bit of a death-wish), cars are available to rent in Buenos Aires."

--From an Argentine Travel site: "Traffic in Buenos Aires is chaotic, and sometimes is helps to assume that drivers have the mentality that the driver has right-of-way, even though in reality the rule is the contrary."

--From some random guy's travelogue: "Traffic is Buenos Aires is something of a nightmare. Stop signs and stoplights are to be considered as suggestions, as are speed limits and lane dividers."

--From the State Dept. website: "SAFETY AND SECURITY: Pedestrians and drivers should exercise caution, as drivers frequently ignore traffic laws and vehicles often travel at excessive speeds. The rate and toll of traffic accidents has been a topic of much local media attention."

So based on all of that information, what did I decide to do? I started riding my bike to work. It's 13 kilometers (or 8.1 miles to you and me) from my house to work. Let me state that a different way: It's 13 harrowing kilometers (or 8.1 harrowing miles to you and me). There is a group of folks that ride their bikes down a main traffic artery from the suburbs where we live to the office. Truth is, when I leave, there are a lot less cars on the road and it's quite enjoyable. You have to be alert. You have to believe all the stuff those quotes say. I would like to get to the point where I'm doing it everyday, but it takes some logistical planning with having clothes at work, inclement weather, etc. As this was the first week, it's way better than I thought it would be and I'm looking forward to doing it more often than driving.

While that is harrowing for me... let me just tell you about what is harrowing for Candace. She has little tolerance for bugs, and we have bugs in our house. Mostly, they are just friendly cockroaches that mind their own business and sometimes we find dead ones. Well, one decided to play a trick on Candace and hide on top of her dresser underneath a stack of papers. When Candace moved the papers, Candace FREAKED OUT. There is no other way to describe her reaction and be truthful about it. Hyperventilation, screaming, etc, etc. I was in the next room, heard the response, and with my spidey senses (no bug humor, please) knew that she came across a bug. I attribute that to 10 years of marriage. 10 years of her telling me over the phone about encounters with potato bugs in our house. 10 years of coming home from work and finding plastic cups on the floor (Candace's way to trap a bug in a determined location so I can come home and finish the job). In the grand scheme of things, however, the plastic cup often delivers a slow-painful, oxygen-deprived, or just plain drying out, death, whereas my technique is just a straight forward brute force crushing.

Did I mention that our friends here are COUSes (Cockroaches Of Unusual Size)? Having served my mission here, I'm used to the little guys, but Candace has, um, not quite embraced our motel lifestyle. She (Candace, not the cockroach) has survived to live another day. I love my wife. Always makes me smile.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Back to the grind of weekly blogs. For the two of you that actually read this, thanks for returning. Since I know that Candace is one of them, it will be like Christmas when I find out who the other one is. The great thing about writing a blog like this is that I get to remember what has gone on during the week as well. I have enjoyed doing it and appreciate the fact that I committed to Candace to do it in the first place. In fact, I'm so nerdy that I crack myself up writing some of the stories. In short, this blog has been a great way to entertain... um... well.... me! Hooray.

So based on the title, can you guess which one I am?

Let's start with the good. Our van is here. The Odyssey's odyssey was completed while we were in the United States, and thanks to good and understanding friends at work, the administrative portion of it was taken care of and our smelly car (3 months since we'd seen it, including weeks and weeks locked up in a container at sea) was waiting in our driveway (since it doesn't fit in our garage (and that could be a whole other post!!)). Here's another good:

Family time in Buenos Aires. Not only are we eating out on our porch on a nice Friday afternoon in 70 degree weather in mid-November (impossible for us to have done in our last two stops), did you notice our pool? It's almost warm enough to get the kids in there every day. The school calendar is reversed (due to the season reversal) so we're coming up on the kids' long summer vacation, and they will get full use of the pool.

Last good thing was the maid. After recent events, we have elected for a full-time maid and she started this week. If you ask Candace about the maid, I'd have to change this week's title to "The Bestest Thing Ever, the Bad, and the Ugly".

The Bad: Have I mentioned the traffic? I think I did. Borrowing the first part of The Outback Steackhouse tagline... "no rules" (the rest is "just right"). Is it just me, or do intersections need some sort of indicator on who gets to go? Not in Argentina. The main roads have traffic lights, while most of the side streets are one-way and have no stop signs, yield signs, or peace signs. Whoever gets there first, wins. Well, that doesn't go over well with a minivan full of kids so it's taken a little bit to get used to. One of the more enjoyable traffic scenarios is that most left turn lanes---OK. You have to stop and think about this for a second. Left turn lanes... to turn left. Visualize. You with me?---are on the right hand of the road. So you're driving down the road and need to turn left. What do you do? Um, get in the right lane, block traffic, and wait for the green turn arrow that's hidden somewhere on the right side of the road to cut all the way across the lanes of traffic to turn left. Man, the first 200 times I saw it, I couldn't believe it. And I'll see it this week. And I won't believe it. That is bad.

And what do you think could be Ugly?

Dave. (Who wrote that!!!!)

The Ugly? More traffic woes. So you saw the good, right? The van right? Well, do you think that a Honda Odyssey is bigger than most cars here, or smaller than most cars here? (Hint: The Honda dealerships don't sell the Odyssey--they sell the CR-V and the Pilot.) I mentioned above that our van does not fit in our garage so we park it in our driveway or on the street. Alas, earlier this week, Candace was out visiting someone, had the van parked on the street, and when she came out, we were down a side view mirror. Actually, the side view mirror was down... hanging from the electrical cord. It is now taped to the door of the van as we await a replacement part so I can further my mechanical expertise. What a drag! Not even here a week. Luckily, whoever did it left a very sincere note apologizing for hitting our car, left their insurance and contact information so we can get it all worked out. And if you believe that... you missed the fact this was the Ugly part of the post. Of course they didn't leave anything. They didn't stop. But now we'll be looking for some baby blue vehicle with chipped paint somewhere in Buenos Aires. Some Pale Rider will be Unforgiven when we send some Million Dollar Baby to go Dirty Harry or Gran Torino on them. For A Few Dollars More, we could Hang 'em High. I guess my car was just In the Line of Fire. Oh well.

We've spent the week putting our house together. We are still settling in, looking forward to Thanksgiving.

Picking up the Pieces

Welcome back to the blog. That goes for you and for me. As you know from an earlier post, my goal was to post every Sunday night about the comings and goings of our life in Argentina. The last post was 12 September 2010. The following Sunday, I had planned out my clever title, some great anecdotes, and planned to post. Later that evening, Lily (our 5-year old daughter), required an emergency room visit. A friend took us to the hospital at about 8:00 PM, and I distinctly remember thinking that no matter how late I got home, I would post to be consistent. As many of you know (but mostly for those who don't), Lily was hospitalized from 19 september until 1 October, when she passed away from Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome (HUS), developed from a severe reaction to a specific strain of E. Coli bacteria.

We departed Buenos Aires the evening of 3 October 2010 en route to Mapleton, Utah, where the funeral was held on 9 October. Lily was buried in Provo City Cemetery next to an older sister of mine, Emily, who died as an infant. The funeral was just as we wanted it to be. The day was beautiful, the flowers were beautiful, and Lily was beautiful. To be completely honest, I could write pages and pages and pages about the last two weeks of Lily's short life, but I am saving those most special memories for myself. Rest assured, however, that Candace and I had our opportunity to say goodbye to our precious little girl and we were with her as she passed.

While it has been over a month since that day, in some ways it feels like it just happened. We spent 30 days in the United States. After the funeral, we went on a road trip to Colorado to visit so many good friends who knew and loved Lily the last two years we lived there before moving to Argentina. It was so good for us to return to our last 'home' and to be loved and buoyed up by so many good people. After we returned back to Utah, we took another road trip to Southern California to spend a week with my sister. By then, we had decided that we were going to return to Argentina.

Why? This is where our home is now. While only arriving a few months ago (July), we have been welcomed so warmly by the entire community, and we have a great support system down here. Furthermore, our Argentine network of friends are the ones who carried us through this experience. Had we taken advantage of some options presented to us, we would be starting over in a new place, having to share feelings we'd rather not with strangers. We returned to Buenos Aires on 3 November ready to start picking up the pieces of our life here. If you remember the most recent blogs from early September, we had not received our household goods. Our goods arrived the Friday before Lily went into the hospital, and since we have essentially been out of the house since then, we returned to a cluttered home. Thank goodness for dear friends in Argentina who had cleaned out our perishable goods and cleaned our house for our arrival.

So now here we are. Still moving in.

Sad.

Caroline and Sam are too young to understand why they've been carted all over the place the last six weeks, sleeping in several different beds. Claire has had her ups and downs, but is now settling in as the big sister. We talk regularly about Lily and how she is still a part of our family. We plan to follow through on our previous plans for Thanksgiving with another family. We have decided that our other three children deserve their parents' full attention to rear them, and we are going to do our best.

We have been comforted by the doctrines of the Gospel as they relate to eternal families. Never has the Gospel of Jesus Christ been so real to us than during the last turbulent two months. We know that Lily is a part of our family. We know that she always will be. This experience has caused us to realize the importance of doing what's right so that we can earn the right to return to be with Lily.

I'm really not sure what else to say. We are taking it one day at a time. We are hopeful that by returning to our routine, we'll be able to have good days. And we will. We have appreciated and benefitted from all of the prayers and fasting on our behalf and thank all who have made any efforts. We have needed them. We still need them.

So welcome back again. See you next week.

We miss you, Lily.